


Stay

by heavenly-glance (SidneyHam)



Series: shadowhunters episode codas [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Coda, M/M, Mainly magnus' pov, episode 2x04 coda, it's Alec's hand but some ppl might feel uncomfy w that, mention of self harm tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 12:58:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9491840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SidneyHam/pseuds/heavenly-glance
Summary: After the demon attack at the Institute, Alec turns to Magnus for help.2x04 coda/spoilers for 2x05 from the promo.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So the dumb idiots that are Magnus bane and Alec lightwood have me inspired to write again, and thus this happened.

When Simon and Raphael returned from their trip to Catarina’s hospital, they found Magnus curled up in one of his armchairs, nursing a glass of scotch. Simon, feeling awkward and out of place, mumbled something about missing dinner and turned to leave, shooting one last look of pity to Magnus.

Raphael, on the other hand, was at Magnus’ side in the blink of an eye. Magnus opened his eyes when the vampire carefully removed the glass from his hand. Raphael shook his head when he saw what a wreck his old friend had become in the short amount of time he’d been gone. His eyes were glazed over and red, completely unfocused. The makeup around his eyes was smeared across his cheeks, and his normally perfect hair was mess from dragging his hands through it. 

“Dios, Magnus, what has she done to you?” Raphael dropped a comforting hand on the warlock’s shoulder. He could tell Magnus was thinking rather hard, trying to find a way to describe what he was feeling. He gave up after a few seconds and ended up choking on a sob and covering his face with his tired hands. Raphael dropped to his knees, trying to find some way to comfort Magnus.

Truthfully, he despised Camille. Sure, she was the official head of the New York Clan, but with the Du Mort under his control, things were running much more smoothly. Until her indulgences started affecting them, of course. Even as her second in command, Raphael had always been disgusted with her habits of bringing mundanes to the hotel, eventually Turning them and adding more fledglings to the already surprising number he had to look after. Raphael had never been a patient man, and the annoying brat that Magnus had taken under his wing was testing it even further.

Still, he knew what Camille had done both to and for Magnus. She saved his life, but crushed his heart time and time again. Every time Magnus showed up at his doorstep, shaking and full of self-hatred Raphael had picked up the pieces and tried to put his friend back together again. It had been over a century since Magnus had been involved with Camille, and Raphael had hoped that he was finally starting to open himself up again. When he looked at the big picture, the shadowhunter boy actually cared about Magnus, perhaps even more than Camille did that fateful night late in the 19th century. 

And then she waltzed back into his life, tearing him apart once again. He hadn’t seen Magnus this upset since he’d portaled to the Du Mort after Ragnor passed. Raphael overheard Magnus tell the aggravating fledgling that Camille was his rock, but he knew that wasn’t necessarily true. The Camille Magnus loved was long gone. The memory of her was what helped him hold on when things got bad again, but Raphael was always the one person he could count on to offer support when he needed it most. 

“Entiendo, mi amigo,” he whispered to Magnus, as he took the ring-adorned hands in his own cold ones. “Please, don’t let her ruin you again. I know you’ve lost someone you loved, but look at me.”

Magnus complied, locking eyes with the vampire he raised. 

“Your friends are still here. I am still here. Como si no fuera poco, the shadowhunter cares for you more than esa perra ever did. Come back to the Du Mort with me, I do not want you to be alone tonight.” It wasn’t really a question, and Raphael framed it as a statement more than anything else. “You’re too drunk to open a portal, Magnus. We can get a taxi and walk the rest of the way.”

Magnus simply nodded and slowly rose to his feet. He hadn’t had enough to drink for it to affect his balance, but he knew from previous experience not to play with magic while under the influence. He let Raphael lead the way out of his loft, accidentally running into the vampire when he suddenly stopped walking. 

“What do you want, Lightwood?” Raphael hissed. Magnus’ interest peaked and he peered over his friend’s shoulder to see… Alec? Although he looked to be in rougher shape than Magnus himself, Alec had decided to come to his loft instead of staying at the institute with his siblings. 

“Alexander!” Magnus blurted out. Alec still hadn’t met his eyes and he looked the shadowhunter over, searching for signs of injury he might need help with. All he found was a few scratches on a bruised right hand. “Alec?” Magnus tried again, trying to ease the uncomfortable feeling in his chest he seemed to feel when Alec wasn’t really communicating.

“Can I,” Alec closed his eyes and took a deep breath to pull himself together before continuing. “Can I come in? Please. Can I stay at your loft tonight?”

Alec’s voice was so broken and he looked close to tears, and who was Magnus to say no to him? Stepping away from Raphael, he held the door open a little wider and beckoned the shadowhunter in. Ignoring a glare from Raphael, Alec walked in and stood motionless in the entryway. Eyes still downcast and arms hanging limp at his sides, Alec looked completely wrecked. Magnus just wanted to rush over to him and envelope him in an embrace until his beautiful smile returned.

But, he had made a promise to Raphael.

“Of course, darling, you’re always welcome here. Make yourself comfortable while I see our vampire friend out.” Alec nodded and found his way to Magnus’ couch, perching on the edge of the seat and staring at nothing. Magnus’ heart broke a little bit more, just then. Swallowing his emotions, Magnus returned to Raphael, who was still waiting for him in the hall. 

“Dios mío, Magnus. You’ve got it bad. Since he is here, and I assume he will spend the night, why don’t you stay home. Go take care of the alcohol and make me a portal so you two can help each other. Por favor.” 

Well, damn. When did his scared little fledgling turn into this wise man? Magnus thought back on the last seventy years he’d known Raphael, trying to figure out when that changed. He gave up on that train of thought when he reached the bathroom. This was always the worst part of needing to be sober, emptying pure ethanol from his stomach into the toilet. He rinsed his mouth out, feeling much less foggy than before.

When he made the portal for Raphael, he didn’t expect anything other a sarcastic remark. So Magnus was pleasantly surprised when Raphael pulled him into a hug, whispering “don’t let him hurt you,” before disappearing into the portal. And so Magnus was left by himself, the night’s events replaying in his mind, bringing him back to his past with Camille. After a few moments he shook his head to himself, clearing his mind before returning to the living room to find Alec. Who had, apparently, relocated. 

He was about to clean up the mess he’d made at the bar when he caught a glimpse of movement on the balcony. Alec was leaning against one of the unnecessary poles that supposedly offered structure to the balcony. Magnus joined him in the warm summer air.

“You okay?” He asked, somewhat tentatively. He still didn’t know what had left Alec feeling this way, but it certainly wasn’t good. No, Alec wasn’t here for drinks or friendly banter; he was here because he needed comfort, needed Magnus. And he swore to try his best to help him.

“I can’t be in that institute,” Alec muttered, his voice small but clear, loud enough to hear over the cacophony that was New York. Or maybe Magnus just tuned everything but Alec out.

But that short statement was enough to jog his memory. He’d forgotten in his drunken state that someone had sent a fire message to him, explaining to him the details of that night’s demon attack. And of Jocelyn’s death.

“Oh, Alec,” Magnus couldn’t help but let the emotions seep into his words. He couldn’t imagine what he was feeling right now. But before he could add on to the sentiment, Alec interrupted his train of thought.

“Heard you turned in Camille.” And it’s safe to say that Magnus was not expecting that. “How’d that go?” Alec asked, clearly shifting the focus on to Magnus. But he had to tread lightly. What they had was so new and Magnus didn’t want to push Alec by talking about the woman he loved. 

“Honestly? It was awful.” And apparently Magnus’ mouth wasn’t connecting to his brain because admitting how hard it was out loud was definitely not treading lightly. “We had a lot of history, she and I,” he continued, pausing to take a breath because shit, that thought wasn’t pleasant. He looked over at Alec to gauge his reaction. Seeing nothing but a blank face, he tried to backpedal before Alec decided Magnus wasn’t worth his time.

“I’m sorry if that’s weird,” he breathed out, nervously. But Alec just shrugged as if it were no big deal.

“It’s not weird. You say what you think.”

The overwhelming relief Magnus felt when he registered what Alec had said was, well. Overwhelming. He didn’t want to dwell on what Alec’s choice of words meant, so he moved the focus of the conversation back to Alec.

“Too busy to use a healing rune?” He couldn’t help but ask. He’d been watching Alec stare and play with his injured hand all night, seemingly punishing himself for what he did when he wasn’t in control. 

Alec looked away. “I’m fine,” he all but whispered, as if trying to convince himself. 

“No, you’re not,” Magnus called him out on the blatant lie. “You're hurting. Badly.” He wracked his brain trying to find a way to tell Alec that he'd be okay, that they'd both be okay, if they just talked. 

“You hope the pain here,” he holds his right hand out, wrist up to show Alec that he understood his way of punishing himself, “will overpower the pain,” he points to his chest, “there.”

He watches Alec's expression, waiting for him to tell him to stop, that Magnus doesn't understand as he's done so many times before. 

“I wish it were that simple.” And that, that seems to set the shadowhunter off. 

“I let a demon in, Magnus.” 

“That wasn't your fault,” he pushes back, forcing Alec to listen to him. He's desperately trying to get through to Alec but he seems so set on hating himself. 

“I don't know what to say to Clary. I can't face her!” Alec’s practically bursting with guilt. And Magnus can empathize, he really can. As much as he'd wish it were untrue, that girl had carved a place in his heart. If their situations were reversed, Magnus wouldn't know how to tell her how incredibly sorry he was. 

“But you will, because that's what you do, Alexander,” Magnus puts his heart into his next words, hoping they mean as much to Alec as they meant to him. “It may take you a minute, but I've seen it up close. I went to your wedding!” He pauses to take a breath, the memories of that night coming to him in flashes. 

“You'll blow up the very ground you stand on to make something right.”

And there. Finally there it is. Magnus has gotten through to Alec. The shadowhunter makes eye contact, and the glaze of unshed tears threatens to shatter him. 

“What do I do, Magnus? How do I make this right?” Alec's voice breaks then and Magnus’ heart strains in his chest to reach out, to touch, to hold him. 

“You can't start, Alexander, by letting me help you. If you won't heal yourself, let me do it for you. Please.” And maybe Magnus puts too much emphasis on the last word of request, but it seems to help Alec make his decision. 

Alec nods, ever so slightly, and stands up, ready to follow Magnus back inside. He makes a surprised noise in the back of his throats when Magnus takes his uninjured hand in his own heavily ringed one. But he quickly relaxes, letting himself be led back to the couch. And for a few moments, Magnus helps him to believe that everything would be okay, in time.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr @ winteralec! Come yell with me


End file.
